Parenting: Do our children secretly seek advice from their peers? – News

Dear Parents,

Come to think of it, in this fast and furious world, parenting can be more daunting than governing a country or running a business; not in terms of magnitude but with respect to the sentimental bond we have towards our children and the emotional investment we make to ensure the lives of our children.

The stakes on a personal level are much higher, and for most parents, every decision they make is in one way or another related to their children. From their academic, physical and emotional well-being to their future prospects, there are a number of factors that make our children the center of our lives until they come of age and learn to drive themselves.

For obvious reasons ranging from unlimited exposure and high intellect to higher expectations and pressure to perform, our children are now more prone to breakdowns than we were in our time. More attention is now being paid to the mental health of our children than ever before.

While the awareness is appreciable and the proactive measures taken by schools to manage their anxieties are laudable, there are hidden dangers lurking in the way information is disseminated to them. Blame it again on the free and easily accessible material available (online) for them to read and explore: the word “depression” has now become part of their common language.

Students are becoming very aware of mental health and those who want to make a positive difference are even taking initiatives by creating communities, apps and chat rooms to exchange opinions, concerns and possible solutions. And therein lies the problem. While the intention is correct, the dangers of children seeking solutions from peers who are equally inexperienced in life and have only partial knowledge of the conditions that lead to mental disorders are high.

Several young people I know are now showing great interest in participating in mental health initiatives, and many are even planning to pursue psychology as a profession, and that is an encouraging trend. But can we allow children to become counselors and support mechanisms for their peers? Since children, especially teenagers, prefer to trust and seek comfort from their friends rather than their parents, this tendency could do them more harm than good. They might err on the side of crude, immature ideas that they consider genuine only because at that stage of life they are naturally inclined to trust their peers, because after all, they all share common growing pains.

This is where we, as parents, must be vigilant and take preventive measures. While it is virtually impossible to know their online activities and who they interact with on a daily basis, keeping track of their emotional state, listening to their smallest problems, monitoring changes in their behavior or character, and being attentive to the situation will send warning signs and tell us. They tell when to intervene with our support and advice.

Many parents believe that children exaggerate their problems and ignore them as having unnecessary tantrums. They may be, for all we know, but we must pay more than casual attention to their words and actions because a deeper discomfort may lie behind them. They must be made to believe that their parents are their first resort in times of trouble.

Today’s teenagers have begun to mistakenly describe general stress in their student and adolescent lives as depression without realizing the broader implications of the term. And there are numerous media that offer them indiscreet advice. They need to be protected so they are not exposed to it. And the first step toward that is for us to continue reiterating: “We have your back.”

Until next time, happy parenting.

wknd@khaleejtimes.com